Caught You Blinking!

Didn’t I tell you!? Don’t blink! They will be grown up before you know it. Parenting takes us into an amazing dimension of time. With an infant 10 minutes is an eternity.... and 6 months is a blink of the eye! Now my first born (my first Kindermusik graduate!) I’ve sent off for his second year in college! And my second is in the midst of the college search asking "How far can I go?" I was sure my children would never get to the teenage years (much less get through them!) and that this letting go time would never, never come to pass. I was determined not to blink! Now I blink for the tears! Tears of sadness and tears of proud joy.

Sure as the sun comes up day after day we can’t do anything about the speed of light!

Here’s a story I love. My mother told it to us often during our growing up years. I don’t know the origin, maybe someone can tell me! I love the truth in it and I believe it has made a great impact on how I approach children in my teaching and in my parenting.

Read it to your children, and listen carefully.

Once upon a time the wind and the sun were having an argument. The wind huffed and puffed and proclaimed to be mightier than the sun.

The sun proposed a contest to settle the argument. “Do you see that man down there on the path? We will see who can get his coat off.”

The wind, seeing an easy contest, boisterously said, “I’ll go first!” With that the sun hid behind the clouds and the wind began the contest. He blew and blew. The man below felt the cool air and buttoned up his coat. The wind whirled a mighty gust and the man clutched his coat tighter. Harder and harder the wind blew nearly knocking over the man and tighter and tighter he pulled his coat around him.

Finally the wind gave up. Exhausted, he said to the sun “You try. That man is so stubborn.”

The sun grinned from ear to ear and came out from behind the cloud beaming brightly. “Oh, how warm it has become” thought the man as he dropped his arms by his sides. A minute more of the bright warmth and the man unbuttoned his coat then slipped it off.

The wise "sun" finds a way to convince the man to choose to take his coat off.

Parenting and teaching can’t always be so simplified, I know. But in general, choose your battles wisely and approach with a level head. Breathe out and bring out the empathy and warmth. We all know this intellectually but the emotions are often the stumbling block. My greatest challenge has been choosing a path different than my own parents. Their ways are deeply embedded in our hearts and though we may want to try a different approach, when we are under stress and emotionally charged the old way presents itself with a mighty gust.

If you are looking for great books to deepen parenting wisdom, look for these (my all time favorites):

Reading list:

The Out of Sync Child, Carol Kranowitz, 1998

Smart Moves, Carla Hannaford, 1995

Baby Teacher, Rebecca Shore, 2000

Punish By Rewards, Alfie Kohn, 1995

Raising Your Spirited Child, Mary Sheedy Kircinka, 1991

Life Enriching Education, Marshall B. Rosenberg, 2002

A General Theory of Love, Thomas Lewis

Conscious Discipline, Becky Bailey

Love and peace,

Yvette Odell, M.M.E., director

Kindermusik of Holland

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.” A. Einstein