More on Loving Rituals

Here's a page from a book published by Loving Guidance and Becky Bailey. It's about I love you rituals and how important they are neurologically to your child's emotional development.

Don't they just happen? Well, I think because of our stressed lives, fast paced living, and maybe we can even blame TV...we just don't take enough time for these really important connections.

Read on (And then go visit "Loving Guidance").

Chapter 1: I Love You Rituals: Activities to Build Bonds and Strengthen
Relationship with Children
We get caught up in our obligations and tasks and
lose sight of our children until they "get in trouble'' (displease us) or "do
something special" (please us). During both of these occasions, the children
receive our full and undivided attention. We could call one negative attention
and the other positive attention. Neither is helpful or healthy. Children come to
learn that for them to be "loved" (i.e., get attention) they must either
misbehave or be special. These two positions require children to be less than
others (in trouble) or better than others (winning) to get their most basic
needs met. This becomes a vicious cycle. They ultimately come to constantly
strive to get love and miss out on giving and receiving love. Ironically, the
real reason adults get caught up in their obligations is their own need to avoid
feeling less than others or their own need to feel better than others to
maintain their sense of self-esteem. To keep your children from this same
pitfall, you can take charge and establish strong relationships with children.
Adults must take time to "be" with their children. This time must be commanded
and orchestrated by adults, not demanded by children. "I Love You" Rituals can
be the beginning of this process.
Often adults find themselves locked in
negative patterns of interactions with their children. As the child grows and
challenges the adults around him or her more, constant battles can be the norm
instead of the exception. These battles can be especially trying during the
toddler years. As these battles continue day in and day out, the relationship
between the adult and child becomes strained. The willingness to begin the
healing process must come from the adult. Many adults just don't know what to
do. The question becomes, how can we "make up" with out children without giving
into them? How do we begin meeting the needs of children on our terms instead of
theirs? What can be done? What will heal the relationship? The answer is "I Love
You Rituals". When your relationship with a child becomes challenging make time
for an "Love You Ritual" in the morning and in the evening. As you add these
moments of unconditional love into your relationship, you will be inviting
cooperation into your home or classroom.

1997-2007 ©Loving Guidance, Inc. All rights reserved.

You come to Kindermusik for the experience of "I love you" rituals!!! And it's just that reason your children LOVE Kindermusik...no exaggeration!

Love,

Yvette