How ARE you doing?

A few years ago (6, I think!) I went to a conference and heard Dr. Sears present a session on parenting. What an honor to hear and see one of my favorite parenting book authors!

What I took from that session was a message with a goal I had to take seriously.

At the birth of each of my children I was ready to lay down my life for them. I (like nearly every mom I know) was so surprised at how much love I could have for my child. That hasn't changed even as they are teens now. And though I feel that love deeply, I've also had to learn the hard way that I need to include loving myself in the list of what it takes to love a child.

The analogy of the flight attendents' preflight message of putting on your own oxygen mask first before helping others hits it right on the head. How can you help others after you've collapsed...physically or emotionally? My good friend, Jody, has a Tshirt that says "Ain't Mom happy, ain't nobody happy."

What's your favorite way of taking care of yourself? Phone a friend? Extra long bath? A walk by yourself? Time to write in your diary?

Mothering is 24/7 so you'll need help with finding the time. Ask for it before you run out of oxygen.

So here is Dr. Sears' contract. Print it, fill it out and sign. Post either on or near your mirror. Read it every day. Often. Take it seriously.


__________needs a happy mother.
Baby's name

I promise to take care of myself.


____________________________
Sign here


Take care,
Yvette
P.S. Babies need a happy Father too.

Happy Mother's Day!

How a mom gets Real:
From The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ungly, except to people who don't understand."......