Language developement

I found the above video of an African music group. I hope you enjoy watching and listening to the language and music. If you get about 2/3 of the way through you can hear them singing a couple words in English...I nearly missed it because I was just thinking I wouldn't understand anything!

Between 18 months old and 4 years old children are comprehending on average about 1 word for every hour they are awake. By 4 years old they would have a vocabulary of 10,000 words. It is recommended that parents speak about 17,000 words daily to their children.

If you are using that many words then you are talking a lot! The advantage to that is you are also modeling HOW TO THINK. I'd say that's pretty valuable. Don't be afraid to wax poetic or even silly! Even those lessons are valuable.

In our Kindermusik Our Time class (18months to 3 1/2 year olds) we did an experiment with the little Setswana folk song by taking a risk to boldly sing along with words that we didn't understand or know--without referring to the song chart. Many said that they found it very challenging-that it took a huge amount of concentration. Others commented that while they understood the first word "Hey" it was hard to sing it in time and were able to "get" the last syllable although only as an echo. Some still tried to sneak a peak at the words on the chart thereby using an adult tool of deciphering. Interesting to put yourself into the feelings a 2 year old
might be experiencing all day long.

Hey, Tswana, nehe tipe same Tswana. Hey, Bwana, nehe tipe same Bwana.


Enjoy experiencing your child's world. Thank you for bringing them to Kindermusik.
Love and hugs,
Yvette

Parenting with Nonviolent Communication (NVC)

Oh, dear parents, spare a minute to listen to this. I've read Marshall Rosenberg's books on Non-violent Communication and they have greatly influenced how I parent and how I teach. The speaker in this video was wonderful to keep asking "WHY????"

Sign Lauguage class through Kindermusik

Kindermusik's Sing and Sing class scheduled to begin this Thursday at 3pm is worth doubling up for!

If you value your special time together and you enjoy learning about what's making your child's brain "tick"and you are you looking for more fun quality time with your 6 month to 3 year old then you will want to know about Kindermusik Sign and Sing.

This weekly 45 minute 10 week class will be taught by Yvette Odell. She will show caregivers many signs and explain the purpose behind encouraging sign language for very young children. American Sign Language is used rather than "Baby Signs" because this is a real language used and understood by many people including hearing impaired. The class is not intended for hearing impaired children since the goals are to use signs to decrease frustrations in children who are learning to talk.

The structure of the class is different that the "regular Kindermusik classes" since we are allowing free play to create learning situations that will be most effective for children's aquisition and comprehension of signs. There is some singing but the signing really takes precedence.

Added benefits are increased vocabulary, increased interactions with caregivers, increased understanding of the processes of language acquisition and parenting tips that help with directing children towards a learning goal.

Many of the general goals are similar to the ones in our regular Kindermusik classes but you'll find them to be very different! It's worth doubling up!

Enroll here.

A Flower for YOU parents!

It's an arnica flower. A special flower for which I am very grateful.

I've noticed in class you children have been hard at work. The way I can tell is bumps and bruises on their foreheads, cheeks....wait till summer when you can see more on their knees and shins! It really is part of their work to plunge in to learning how to walk, run, jump, twirl....run to the egg shaker basket and.....OOPS!!! Bump heads! I must recommend a most wonderful ointment for the bumps and bruises......

I have to tell you a little story. Actually bunches of you have heard about this one. Poor Claire! I (ME!!!!!)....I slammed the car door on her thumb. She was about maybe 10 or 11. I should ask her. She said "O-pen-the-door--" I opened the WRONG door!!! Then when I did open the door I grabbed my tube of Arnica that I kept in the pocket of the door and slathered the gel on her thumb. She had a bad ridge slanting across it and I thought she should have a purple nail....I tell you it was stuck in the door!!! It never did turn purple. ....wow, I've carried arnica with me whenever I can and have given it out numerous times when I see that big welt on a child.

You can find Arnica cream or gel or oil (and tablets too for really bad falls--like bike accidents!) at the health food store! Keep them handy.

Loving rituals

I am imagining the loving ritual this song must have been for this little cherub. And I imagine the loving rituals all the Kindermusik families have with "This Little Cow Eats Grass", "Shiny Dinah", "The Jack in the Box Jumps Up", "Lucy Locket", and "Kapulu Pulu Kane".

That's how the real meaning of Valentines gets to your children's hearts.

Happy Day,
Filled with love,
Miss Yvette

More on Loving Rituals

Here's a page from a book published by Loving Guidance and Becky Bailey. It's about I love you rituals and how important they are neurologically to your child's emotional development.

Don't they just happen? Well, I think because of our stressed lives, fast paced living, and maybe we can even blame TV...we just don't take enough time for these really important connections.

Read on (And then go visit "Loving Guidance").

Chapter 1: I Love You Rituals: Activities to Build Bonds and Strengthen
Relationship with Children
We get caught up in our obligations and tasks and
lose sight of our children until they "get in trouble'' (displease us) or "do
something special" (please us). During both of these occasions, the children
receive our full and undivided attention. We could call one negative attention
and the other positive attention. Neither is helpful or healthy. Children come to
learn that for them to be "loved" (i.e., get attention) they must either
misbehave or be special. These two positions require children to be less than
others (in trouble) or better than others (winning) to get their most basic
needs met. This becomes a vicious cycle. They ultimately come to constantly
strive to get love and miss out on giving and receiving love. Ironically, the
real reason adults get caught up in their obligations is their own need to avoid
feeling less than others or their own need to feel better than others to
maintain their sense of self-esteem. To keep your children from this same
pitfall, you can take charge and establish strong relationships with children.
Adults must take time to "be" with their children. This time must be commanded
and orchestrated by adults, not demanded by children. "I Love You" Rituals can
be the beginning of this process.
Often adults find themselves locked in
negative patterns of interactions with their children. As the child grows and
challenges the adults around him or her more, constant battles can be the norm
instead of the exception. These battles can be especially trying during the
toddler years. As these battles continue day in and day out, the relationship
between the adult and child becomes strained. The willingness to begin the
healing process must come from the adult. Many adults just don't know what to
do. The question becomes, how can we "make up" with out children without giving
into them? How do we begin meeting the needs of children on our terms instead of
theirs? What can be done? What will heal the relationship? The answer is "I Love
You Rituals". When your relationship with a child becomes challenging make time
for an "Love You Ritual" in the morning and in the evening. As you add these
moments of unconditional love into your relationship, you will be inviting
cooperation into your home or classroom.

1997-2007 ©Loving Guidance, Inc. All rights reserved.

You come to Kindermusik for the experience of "I love you" rituals!!! And it's just that reason your children LOVE Kindermusik...no exaggeration!

Love,

Yvette

Language Development in Kindermusik class

How do children grow their vocabulary? When do babies really learn words? When do babies understand words?

If you want a child with a big vocabulary you have to use your words! Talk to your baby morning, noon, and night!

Last week in our Kindermusik Village class we worked with little nursery rhymes: Hey diddle diddle, This little cow eats grass, (and more). The home activity was to play with words, tell stories, recite more rhymes, play with your voice (squeaky or low, fast or slow etc) . What does all this mean to a 5 month old?

Well, they are making brain connections for language from the day they are born. Drawing conclusions on the rhythm and melodies of what is spoken. Patterns of phrases, repeated words, the connections of words to your facial expression and body language. The give and take of conversation. So much going on here.

First time parents may feel awkward having one way conversations about diaper changes, folding laundry and reading the newspaper but that's the key for helping a child figure out this whole language thing! When you take this seriously, they take it as positive reinforcement for being curious and communicative. (What's important to you is definitely important to them.)

In class last week for the Kindermusik Our Time children (18 months to 3 1/2 yo) we introduced "scaffolding" which is a parenting technique for encouraging exploration and also for getting children to do what YOU want them to do. First you observe and affirm what they are already doing (we were working with the rhythm sticks and the musical element of fast and slow), we imitated them (imitation is a sure form of affirmation for children) and describe and label everything, giving informational feedback. Then we suggest a variation to their action...we challenge. The whole activity is dependent on conversation. Talk, talk, talk.....

Click on the picture above to watch a video from How Stuff Works about some of the research they've done on the language-IQ connection. I'm not advocating a word counting assessment software...I'd rather talk to my babies because I love them not because my goal is a certain IQ. But I do want to give my babies what I can to increase their potential...who doesn't want the best for their baby?

So....snow day today (no classes).

Hey, Baby! Talk some, sing some!
Reminds me of a song I haven't sung in ages:

Chatter with the angels, soon in the morning.
Chatter with the angels all day long!
Chatter with the angels, soon in the morning.
Chatter with the angels all day long!
I want to join that band and chatter with the angels all day long.

Have fun,
Yvette

YIKES!!!!!!!
Claire may have to stay home with us forever because I can't figure out all this taxes stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She tells me the paper work is due on the 15th of this month for the financial aid forms for one of the schools to which she's applying.

I am consumed by numbers that don't add up. I'm easily distracted. And easily set off! (Is this a parenting test?)

So when you all are down to the wire of April 15th I will be skipping and singing and twirling because I will be all done.

But on the lines of distractions: I'm speaking to the catechists (and others) at St. Francis Church from 10-noon this Saturday. The topic is Opening Children to Learning: What's going on in their brain?

You will hear passion.....Children and related issues...my favorite topic!

Wish me peace.
Yvette
ps. the person in the photo above has not neglected the rest of her house and family like I have. What IS for dinner anyway?

Be What You Want Them to Be

Light travels faster than sound. Your example is more powerful than your words will ever be.
Listed below are some traits we hope our children will exemplify when they are grown. I suggest you write your own list and post it on the fridge as a gentle reminder to parent with intent, to parent by example.....

When my children grow up I want them to be:
Happy
Healthy
Intelligent
Compassionate
Hard working
Creative and imaginative

Kind
Trustworthy
Confident
Kind
Courageous
Forgiving
Joyful
Worldly
Striving
Connected
Appreciative
Story Tellers

loving
honest
respectful
well-mannered
spiritual (lovers of God)
inclusive
understanding
patient
good sense of humor

Reading this list I imagine the perfect parent. Well, that's an impossible job description...BUT I strive! (and forgive myself!)

Peace and courage,
Yvette

Memory, Emotions and the Brain

Understanding how children learn has been a continuing education passion for me. I'm reading, attending workshops, watching children (my own and those who come to my Kindermusik classes) and I am nearly always thinking about this. So, from my experience, I have some ideas to share. Here's one about memory and emotions.

Have you experienced an emotion that was recalled along with remembering something? Sometimes I think that is what happens when certain child behaviors can make me angry...they are the same ones that brought up anger in my parents! I had to work much harder to be patient and creative when my babies were stubborn!

I look forward to your comments!
Yvette

Infinite Potential

Several years ago I spoke at a child care providers that was sponsored by Children's Resource Network/4C. The key note speaker was Charles Ill who was head of early childhood development for Ottawa County. He put a slide on the screen that struck me so profoundly. I wish I could find him and ask for a reproduction of the slide... I've drawn it up to the best of my ability to use the computer. It shows how we invest in the amazing potential of the brain.


The blue line roughly represents the the brain's potential for growth and change. There are biological events around 7 years and 13 years of the chemical (hormones) pruning of unused neurons in order to streamline and focus on the well connected neural pathways the child's experiences have deemed necessary.

The red line roughly represents the financial investment made towards the child's potential.

I believe there is always potential but I also acknowledge the vastness of an infant's possibility.
I also believe that the parents are the child's best teacher. I am not an advocate of early childhood education without the close involvement of the parents' participation. What would our society be like if we really invested in nurturing the infant family with financial and emotional support?

I commend all the grandparents, uncles and aunts who've given Kindermusik gift certificates or who've even brought their grandchildren to classes. I believe that's a very meaningful investment in their potential.

Find out more about gift certificates or to enroll

Come and dance in the well tended garden of our children.
Happy New Year.

Giving and Taking: Every conflict is an opportunity for growth

Here's parenting tip #249814334:

How to model sharing and trading.

Scene: child #1 has the drum and child #2 has the shaker. Child #2 drops the shakers and grabs the drum away from child #1 (GASP!) Parents are reacting fast. Parent of child #2 grabs the drum and announces the rule : NO GRABBING!!!

Hey! That was me with my first two children. Claire was always looking to Ben (who was older by 2 years and 1 week) to see what big kids do and to find out what's interesting. Whatever Ben had was always interesting. She grabbed the drum, I grabbed the drum and screeched "No Grabbing!!!!".

It was Ben who said "Mom, How come you're grabbing?"
.......oh........ Hmmmm.....right.....I don't know. I'm trying to teach the no grabbing rule. I was actually reinforcing that, well, grabbing is OK...especially if you are bigger. And you probably should shout when you do it.

Here's what my new approach was when baby #3 comes six years later. Anne looked to the big kids and Claire got some of her own medicine. I got a chance to revise my message.

I noticed how connected the new baby grabber was to me. Even though the umbilical chord was cut it was as if we were really still connected...in so many ways. If I reacted to any situation it was as though she did.

When she grabbed, and before the shock to register on the other child, I had something with which to "trade" and using the best negotiating skills I could muster, I modeled a polite transaction. The younger the "victim" the smoother the action goes. And the younger the perpetrator, the more they believe that they actually did the right thing. And now the baby has the script for polite negotiations.

If the offer was refused I had to muster up some creativity to continue the negotiations. I'd say "Oh, Anne. Look at Claire's face. She's pretty angry. What do you think she might like as a trade?" or "Do you think you could give her back the drum and ask her to give it to you when she is all done?"

No set formula is perfect for every situation and this new way is very time consuming. But much more effective. Give it a try. And pray for patience.....Remember light travels faster than sound. Our actions are more powerful than anything we could possibly shout.

Peace,
Yvette

Gift Giving

"The judgments, criticisms, complaints, encouragement, joy and love that we think we are giving to others, are really gifts we give to ourselves."

from Conscious Discipline by Becky Bailey

To the MOMs

Dear Moms,
Are you aware that MOM is WOW upside down? That is a given. Forwards and backwards. No other judgment necessary!

A few years ago I began a conscious journey of self improvement and have as a mantra to "love others as myself". Interestingly I noticed I didn't love myself very much and surely not unconditionally! During times when I loved myself least I was less able to love others at all.
How could I love others, especially my own family, if I could not love myself.

Baby steps. Baby steps. Two steps forward and one back.

Here are two ideas that helped me with the one step forward.

Accept compliments.

Wouldn't you know it? I have still lots of work to do here! Today after playing flute in church I totally negated a freely given compliment! I will choose next time to say: "Thank you" and allow it to soak in.

Second: Stop "should-ing all over myself".

I think most moms are in the habit of using this technique. "I should have returned that call yesterday". "I should have gotten up earlier." "I should post more often on my blog." "I should have practiced that music."Should-a should-a, should-a....., Goodness, I can come up with a bunch of them. There's a lot of judgmental energy being used up in feeling angry or frustrated at myself for what should have been! How is that going to help anything? The word "should" matters too in saying what we might do in the future. "I should run to the store". "I should drop a card in the mail." "I should clean up as I go." I choose to replace "should-a" with "I could" and then decide whether or not I will. I can always change my mind but I don't need the nagging sound of that voice saying "You should have.......".

If you are an educator and you are reading this you might want to know more. I've been reading Becky Bailey's work book for teachers "Conscious Discipline". But if you are a parent reading this then you could choose to run out and get this book because it can help you transform your parenting.

Thanks for listening. Because you know I say this for my own sake.
Yvette

Do you LIVE in your living room?

Once when Claire was about 2 she discovered the scissors. Luckily the newspaper was nearby...actually right in the heavily used walkway going into the living room. She worked for almost 2 hours singing and cutting the paper into tiny pieces. (How long is a child's attention span?) (How happy was I for two hours to do things on my agenda?) She was getting very accomplished with those scissors and I was so proud of her new skills!

She was an absolute gray mess!!!! And the living room, already quite lived in, was a disaster. As my friend, Jody would say: "Signs of a struggle!"

Well actually, signs of LIFE. And for that I am grateful.
Today Claire who is 17 is very dexterous, making many things with her hands from her beautiful lampwork glass bead earrings to beautiful violin music.

In Kindermusik Our Time we begin working with our hands and fingers while we singing "If You're Happy and You Know It". Time for children to explore their little hands and the many things we can do with them! They look so intently at their hands and you can almost see them thinking: "So THESE are thumbs!"

So when you find life in your living room remember this:

A House Becomes a Home When You Can Write "I love You" On the Furniture

Life is short. Enjoy it! Dust if you must, but wouldn't it be better to paint a picture or write a letter, bake a cake or plant a seed, ponder the difference between want and need?

Dust if you must, but there's not much time, with rivers to swim and mountains to climb, music to hear and books to read, friends to cherish and life to lead.

Dust if you must, but the world's out there with the sun in your eyes, the wind in your hair, a flutter of snow, a shower of rain. This day will not come around again.

Dust if you must, but bear in mind, old age will come and it's not kind. And when you go- and go you must- you, yourself will make more dust!

It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.

author unknown
Peace, Yvette

Caught You Blinking!

Didn’t I tell you!? Don’t blink! They will be grown up before you know it. Parenting takes us into an amazing dimension of time. With an infant 10 minutes is an eternity.... and 6 months is a blink of the eye! Now my first born (my first Kindermusik graduate!) I’ve sent off for his second year in college! And my second is in the midst of the college search asking "How far can I go?" I was sure my children would never get to the teenage years (much less get through them!) and that this letting go time would never, never come to pass. I was determined not to blink! Now I blink for the tears! Tears of sadness and tears of proud joy.

Sure as the sun comes up day after day we can’t do anything about the speed of light!

Here’s a story I love. My mother told it to us often during our growing up years. I don’t know the origin, maybe someone can tell me! I love the truth in it and I believe it has made a great impact on how I approach children in my teaching and in my parenting.

Read it to your children, and listen carefully.

Once upon a time the wind and the sun were having an argument. The wind huffed and puffed and proclaimed to be mightier than the sun.

The sun proposed a contest to settle the argument. “Do you see that man down there on the path? We will see who can get his coat off.”

The wind, seeing an easy contest, boisterously said, “I’ll go first!” With that the sun hid behind the clouds and the wind began the contest. He blew and blew. The man below felt the cool air and buttoned up his coat. The wind whirled a mighty gust and the man clutched his coat tighter. Harder and harder the wind blew nearly knocking over the man and tighter and tighter he pulled his coat around him.

Finally the wind gave up. Exhausted, he said to the sun “You try. That man is so stubborn.”

The sun grinned from ear to ear and came out from behind the cloud beaming brightly. “Oh, how warm it has become” thought the man as he dropped his arms by his sides. A minute more of the bright warmth and the man unbuttoned his coat then slipped it off.

The wise "sun" finds a way to convince the man to choose to take his coat off.

Parenting and teaching can’t always be so simplified, I know. But in general, choose your battles wisely and approach with a level head. Breathe out and bring out the empathy and warmth. We all know this intellectually but the emotions are often the stumbling block. My greatest challenge has been choosing a path different than my own parents. Their ways are deeply embedded in our hearts and though we may want to try a different approach, when we are under stress and emotionally charged the old way presents itself with a mighty gust.

If you are looking for great books to deepen parenting wisdom, look for these (my all time favorites):

Reading list:

The Out of Sync Child, Carol Kranowitz, 1998

Smart Moves, Carla Hannaford, 1995

Baby Teacher, Rebecca Shore, 2000

Punish By Rewards, Alfie Kohn, 1995

Raising Your Spirited Child, Mary Sheedy Kircinka, 1991

Life Enriching Education, Marshall B. Rosenberg, 2002

A General Theory of Love, Thomas Lewis

Conscious Discipline, Becky Bailey

Love and peace,

Yvette Odell, M.M.E., director

Kindermusik of Holland

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.” A. Einstein

When Should You Enroll Your Baby In Kindermusik?

How young is too young? If that's your question I think you will enjoy reading this entry from Eliott's mom. Eliott fell asleep in the middle of most classes but I know he still got an infinite amount of goodness from his experience in the summer class.....

His mom writes:

I had always planned on getting Eliott involved in Kindermusik eventually. I thought I would have to wait until he was 6 months old just like everything else that is fun for parents and their babies. I was happy to find a class to take with my 2 month old. I was surprised to learn that Kindermusik is more than the songs. The music is just one of the tools for building up my son's brain and strengthening our bond. There are so many opportunities around every day life we take for granted to teach our little ones. Things that I had at one time done begrudgingly with my baby, I now do happily. I love opening junk mail! Eliott likes the feel of the envelopes on his hands and to see the colors and the sound of the crackling paper. Putting away laundry is FUN! I unload the dryer and my son gets a laundry basket train trip from the laundry room to where ever I need to put away the laundry. Then we have a fun game of peek-a-boo with the clothes as we identify the colors, textures, and what body part they cover. Doing the dishes is fun too! There are lots if musical instruments in the kitchen.

I love all of the silly songs and dances because it is fun and it is laying the foundation for reading and math. There is a good sound rational explanation for every silly move and song. I love all of the little extra tid bits of information worked into the classes. I love the socialization aspects of the class too. It makes me feel good to know my son is going to know how to greet a friend and to respect boundaries and structure.

.... Eliott really is a good happy boy! I hope he lets you see more of that in the next round of classes!

Thanks again!
Kate (Eliott's Mom)

And the DEAL is still on: For babies 5 months and younger you can register for 5 weeks tuition free. Don't wait for them to grow up any more!

How ARE you doing?

A few years ago (6, I think!) I went to a conference and heard Dr. Sears present a session on parenting. What an honor to hear and see one of my favorite parenting book authors!

What I took from that session was a message with a goal I had to take seriously.

At the birth of each of my children I was ready to lay down my life for them. I (like nearly every mom I know) was so surprised at how much love I could have for my child. That hasn't changed even as they are teens now. And though I feel that love deeply, I've also had to learn the hard way that I need to include loving myself in the list of what it takes to love a child.

The analogy of the flight attendents' preflight message of putting on your own oxygen mask first before helping others hits it right on the head. How can you help others after you've collapsed...physically or emotionally? My good friend, Jody, has a Tshirt that says "Ain't Mom happy, ain't nobody happy."

What's your favorite way of taking care of yourself? Phone a friend? Extra long bath? A walk by yourself? Time to write in your diary?

Mothering is 24/7 so you'll need help with finding the time. Ask for it before you run out of oxygen.

So here is Dr. Sears' contract. Print it, fill it out and sign. Post either on or near your mirror. Read it every day. Often. Take it seriously.


__________needs a happy mother.
Baby's name

I promise to take care of myself.


____________________________
Sign here


Take care,
Yvette
P.S. Babies need a happy Father too.

Happy Mother's Day!

How a mom gets Real:
From The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ungly, except to people who don't understand."......